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Tuesday, 4 August 2015

“One SORRY” -for all mistakes…




My Bestie,


Don’t know from where to start to say SORRY and for which thing I should say SORRY first. However, I know I have to say. When you came to the hostel, I was having lots of things to say, but I could not utter a single word except just GO. I do not know what I am writing here, but these lines are not scripted, not scripted like my stories and blogs. I am writing whatever comes from my heart. My heart stopped at this line and asked to mind, for what I should ask for the SORRY first? However, I do not want to use my mind just because I want to say SORRY, SORRY from the deep of my heart.


I hurt you, I hurt you many times, and this is one SORRY for all. I am not saying SORRY only for the topic of Julie and me. It is something about yesterday. Again, I stopped here, from where to start, to tell you about what happened to me on that day, What thing was holding me back that on that noon and why I am saying SORRY, SORRY once again...


I had two topics to write, first: to write a special birthday poem for a special girl, for the girl whom I loved, for the girl whom I love, for the Foram. Do I still love her? Now I doubt sometimes. Anyway, Second: to write for my special friend. Yes, special friend. A friend whose name is on the top of the list of my buddies. I said that all lines from my heart. Yes, heart gave me one line that removed from here by the mind. Always my mind wins in the battle of these two. Once again SORRY for this...


So where I was? Yes, on the second point, to write to my friend. Only a friend word is not sufficient here I think. I believe that it must be prefixed with a most suitable adjective. Special, especial and memorable. I do not know which one I should use because none of this is enough to describe my best friend. I can remember the exact date when we had started the journey of our friendship. It was 15th February 2014 when we first time talked face to face, and then it happened again and again and that TIME added one more friend on my list, who made my life joyful. A friend, different from all, cute, little pagal, but still beautiful by heart. When she smiled, she looks like a baby girl and uski harkato... if I will start writing her nautankies here, then my pen would never stop. When she smile, her smile, smile of a cure for all diseases and the cure of my anger. Her smile makes me forget all the reason of my anger, and her Mona Lisa smile adds one more smile around, she makes me smile. Do you know who she is? I mean who is this so special friend? To get you answer you have to stand in front of the mirror, you will get you answer because mirrors always speak truth. SORRY I missed my track, kitni galatia karta hu mai, nahi? Which one thing I preferred to write first? Can you guess? First or second? Guess and then go for next line, please. Once again SORRY for this...


Yes, of course, the second one. I chose to write you first because you taught me to look at the present. Yesterday you was standing at the gate of my hostel and I was not responding your call. How stupid I was. One thing sent me to you that day, once, Foram wanted to talk with me, and she tried on my mobile, one, twice, thrice... A number of missed calls went in two digits and then in three. Hundred plus missed calls from her, and I did not respond at least for once. I don’t know why. I don’t know the reason of such weird behavior but That moment of worst past sent me to hostel gate, to you, to listen to you. You had arrived at the hostel, to say SORRY, but the entire fault was mine. Why should you say SORRY? Still, it was just only you, who was standing, waiting, and saying SORRY, trying many tricks and I was just saying you to get away from there because I was thinking that you are doing nautanky. How foolish am I? Once again SORRY for this...


Yes, I told wrong. Something had happened in college that spoiled my mood. You had come without wearing a sweater just because I had not worn. That made me think how dumb I am. I felt very guilty at that time. I tried to explain you, to tell you that you shouldn’t do like that but I was unable to do it. You know that I don’t know how to express my feelings. Once again SORRY for this...


One thing that offended me very badly is when you asked your other friend to choose any one finger and not to me. You hugged him; I was standing there, watching you. Yes, I lied to you, I replied with big no when you asked if I felt ignored by that. I should not feel bad for this; I must not. I thought you were ignoring me because I had ignored you. However, I was very wrong. He is also your friend like me, and that was only one moment. Now it does not matter whom you ask to choose. Once again SORRY for this...


SORRY...SORRY...SORRY for all the things which hurt you. I know how badly I hurt you because of the topic of Julie. I am SORRY; I ignored you just for the friend whom I had met just before one week. I do not know how to say SORRY for all this, so I copied your trick to say you SORRY. Once again SORRY for this...


You had asked what is holding you back. Now all the things are here. One day, I had told you that nothing is for forever, but I was wrong. Our friendship is forever. I love the way you smile; I love the way to tease me, I love the way you pinch me, I love the way you care for me. Yes, we are friends, friends forever.

SORRY once again...  :) :) :)
Your Bestie,
Gautam.